My thoughts about time

ALL your potential always lies in the future. And it can be realized through the actions of the present, which are influenced by the lessons of the past.

Control vs Manipulation

You control you and you are only controlled by you. That's all. The rest is manipulation.

Most people put a negative connotation to the word 'manipulation' but it doesn't have to be negative. You manipulate the milk bottle for your morning glass. People manipulate other people in both negative and positive ways, but they do not control. They cannot control you (without electrical or chemical assistance).

Your problems are your own.

Any problem that you have is yours and only yours.

If someone is pissing you off that they don't pickup after themselves, then you either have a problem with living with them or a problem with the seat being left up. It's not their problem, it's yours.

And vice versa. If someone has a problem with you putting your feet up on the table, then it's their problem, not yours. If they say it's your problem, ask them why. You don't get upset if you put your feat up so why do you have a problem putting your feat up? That's not to say that you can't help them with their problem by keeping your feat down, but I believe it is important to define who takes ownership of the problem.

There are usually two solutions to a problem of this nature. First, remove yourself from the stimulus or, second, don't allow the stimulus to be a problem. If you didn't care whether you saw your favorite TV show or not, there wouldn't be a problem, would there?

Many people believe that the third solution is to remove the stimulus. Such as, telling the other person to stop putting their feet up. But in reality, this is not a solution. You cannot control anybody else, but yourself.

Exploration of Right and Wrong

Is there an absolute “right” and and absolute “wrong”?

Killing and stealing we believe to be wrong. Helping others we believe to be right. Some people feel that animal sacrifices are right and some people do not. Right and wrong are truly subjective terms. But is there a non-subjective definition of “right”? Perhaps truth. If we are constantly in the pursuit of truth, does that make it right? Before medicine, it was considered wrong to dissect a human cadaver. However, those who did the subjectively “wrong” thing were in the pursuit of truth and, therefore, are now considered “right”. Albert Einstein created the technology that are used in atom bombs as well as nuclear reactors and propulsion systems. Some applications of his technology we consider right and some we consider wrong. But was Albert doing the right thing or the wrong thing? Perhaps his search for knowledge (and the truth of our universe) was right, but the people who decided to use this knowledge to hurt others were wrong.

If this is the case, and the search for truth is right, then is it right to kill someone if we are trying to learn something. For instance, what is the maximum velocity a bullet needs in order to penetrate a living person's skull. That kind of search for truth we would consider wrong. Why? Perhaps right is the pursuit of truth where as wrong is injuring others.

What kind of injuries would this constitute? Physical, emotional, or even financial? Some people are more sensitive to all of these kinds of injuries than other. If our behavior, though in the pursuit of truth, injures somebody who is emotionally sensitive, then are we wrong? Let's say somebody is very offended every time we laugh. Does that make it wrong for us to laugh? All of these are subject to our interpretation and, therefore, subjective in nature. So is there an absolute right and an absolute wrong?

I believe that we do not know absolute right and wrong (or even if there is such a thing) at the moment. For now, Right and Wrong depend on your goal. For example, if your goal is to become a priest, killing a person is wrong. However, if your goal is to win a war, killing a person is right. The reason why there is so much subjectivity is because there are many different goals.

For me, I would like my personal concepts of right and wrong to be defined as simply as possible. This is what is right based on my goals.

• It is wrong to intentionally hurt somebody. That is to say, to hurt somebody for the sake of hurting them. Revenge, malice, and sabotage all fall under this category.

• Honesty and truth are right (despite how wrong it may feel).

• Helping others is right.

• Helping yourself is right.

If there is something that does not fall into these categories or can be lumped into these categories incorrectly, then I have to revise my definitions, for I have not yet accounted for such scenarios.

Comparisons

Think of the ideal you. It can be as general as you like or about a specific issue. If there is something you'd like to improve, what would the result look like?

I believe many people base themselves on other people rather then on their own personal ideal self. He's in better shape than me. She's so much prettier and outgoing than I am.

You are the only you. Everyone else is on their own.

There will always be somebody better then you and always somebody worse then you. As soon as you can start defining yourself on your own, and not in the comparisons or expectations of others, you can grow your own self worth.

Happiness is in the eye of the beholder

"He made me feel horrible."
"She always makes me feel stupid."
"They make me so angry."

I don't believe these are possible. I think a more accurate representation of these is:

"I feel stupid when she says that"
"I feel horrible when I am around him"
"I get angry when they do that"

Any feeling that you ever feel is your own reaction to something. No one can ever make you feel a certain way (unless they use a chemical and/or electrical method). What we mean by, "He makes me feel bad" is "He's found something that I get upset about." I think all to often people find it easier to blame something else for their own feelings instead of taking ownership of them.

Once you recognize that you are responsible for all of your own feelings, you can work on changing your reactions to what you want them to be.

My Guidelines

Here are my most basic personal guidelines. I do my best to follow them, but fall short sometimes. They are difficult.


1. Don't make rules. Rules are much harder to change than guidelines. If you find that your guidelines aren’t working, you can easily rework them or replace them as needed.

2. Don't lie to yourself. No matter how much you want to believe it. If you can’t agree with the reasoning behind it, be open enough to change it or accept it. If you won’t listen, then you are pretending and that can lead to problems in the future.

3. Don't depend on anyone else. You can accept as many favors that are offered to you and ask for as many favors as you like, but your own welfare is your own responsibility. No one owes you anything. If someone denies you a favor, they are not bad for doing so... it’s up to you to figure out another means to solve your problem.

4. Make your own happiness a priority. Put other people’s happiness under that and over everything else. You'll find that you can be happy without hurting others.

5. Don't be ashamed of your actions or beliefs. If you’ve done it, then there was a reason to at the time. If you believe something, there is a reason for that belief. Tthere are consequences to your actions or beliefs, so accept them (note, made up consequences may not apply if you do not agree with them).

6. Other peoples beliefs are as valid as yours. You do not have to believe them and they do not have to believe yours.

7. Keep your integrity. Don’t change anything because of convenience.

8. Know why you feel strongly about something (a belief, emotion, or whatever). If it is because someone told you that it’s right, ask yourself what makes it right? Explore the reasons behind it. If you still agree, then your convictions are that much stronger. If you don’t, there is no reason holding on to a strong feeling if you don’t agree with it.

9. You are not *supposed* to do anything. You do not *have* to do anything. We typically do what works.

10. Don't try to control anybody but yourself. You cannot.

11. Why not be happy all the time? If you are not happy, find out why and fix it.

The Point

So what is the point? Why are we here? What is our purpose?
Truth is, no one knows the truth. No one has a definitive answer. Just a whole bunch of guesses. So some people believe (and have faith in) some guesses and some people believe in others.

I've never been one for standing firmly on a guess. If I believe something, I need to be able to back it up. The more I can back up a belief, the stronger I believe in it. With that being said, I have to say that I am not a religious person. I don't believe that there is a destiny for everyone that God has laid out before us. I can't back it up. I'm not saying that it is not true. I am saying that I do not KNOW it is true.

What I can back up is the fact that I enjoy being happy. I do not enjoy being unhappy. It is the idea that we gravitate towards pleasure and away from pain.

So what is the point? Why am I here? What is my purpose?
Who knows. Who cares? My life doesn't have a purpose nor do I have a reason to be alive. While I am alive, however, I am going to do as much as I can to keep a smile on my face.

Disclaimer

These are my beliefs. None of them are absolute, not even to me. Some I feel strongly about, some I am still working out.

If you would like to discuss some beliefs, I am always willing to discuss them, though it is much more beneficial if both of us keep an open mind. If you convince me of something that contradicts my previous belief, I will work to find where exactly the contradiction lies and then either reform my beliefs or reform yours.

Please take away whatever philosophies that work for you.