Control vs Manipulation

You control you and you are only controlled by you. That's all. The rest is manipulation.

Most people put a negative connotation to the word 'manipulation' but it doesn't have to be negative. You manipulate the milk bottle for your morning glass. People manipulate other people in both negative and positive ways, but they do not control. They cannot control you (without electrical or chemical assistance).

Your problems are your own.

Any problem that you have is yours and only yours.

If someone is pissing you off that they don't pickup after themselves, then you either have a problem with living with them or a problem with the seat being left up. It's not their problem, it's yours.

And vice versa. If someone has a problem with you putting your feet up on the table, then it's their problem, not yours. If they say it's your problem, ask them why. You don't get upset if you put your feat up so why do you have a problem putting your feat up? That's not to say that you can't help them with their problem by keeping your feat down, but I believe it is important to define who takes ownership of the problem.

There are usually two solutions to a problem of this nature. First, remove yourself from the stimulus or, second, don't allow the stimulus to be a problem. If you didn't care whether you saw your favorite TV show or not, there wouldn't be a problem, would there?

Many people believe that the third solution is to remove the stimulus. Such as, telling the other person to stop putting their feet up. But in reality, this is not a solution. You cannot control anybody else, but yourself.