My Guidelines
Here are my most basic personal guidelines. I do my best to follow them, but fall short sometimes. They are difficult.
1. Don't make rules. Rules are much harder to change than guidelines. If you find that your guidelines aren’t working, you can easily rework them or replace them as needed.
2. Don't lie to yourself. No matter how much you want to believe it. If you can’t agree with the reasoning behind it, be open enough to change it or accept it. If you won’t listen, then you are pretending and that can lead to problems in the future.
3. Don't depend on anyone else. You can accept as many favors that are offered to you and ask for as many favors as you like, but your own welfare is your own responsibility. No one owes you anything. If someone denies you a favor, they are not bad for doing so... it’s up to you to figure out another means to solve your problem.
4. Make your own happiness a priority. Put other people’s happiness under that and over everything else. You'll find that you can be happy without hurting others.
5. Don't be ashamed of your actions or beliefs. If you’ve done it, then there was a reason to at the time. If you believe something, there is a reason for that belief. Tthere are consequences to your actions or beliefs, so accept them (note, made up consequences may not apply if you do not agree with them).
6. Other peoples beliefs are as valid as yours. You do not have to believe them and they do not have to believe yours.
7. Keep your integrity. Don’t change anything because of convenience.
8. Know why you feel strongly about something (a belief, emotion, or whatever). If it is because someone told you that it’s right, ask yourself what makes it right? Explore the reasons behind it. If you still agree, then your convictions are that much stronger. If you don’t, there is no reason holding on to a strong feeling if you don’t agree with it.
9. You are not *supposed* to do anything. You do not *have* to do anything. We typically do what works.
10. Don't try to control anybody but yourself. You cannot.
11. Why not be happy all the time? If you are not happy, find out why and fix it.
1. Don't make rules. Rules are much harder to change than guidelines. If you find that your guidelines aren’t working, you can easily rework them or replace them as needed.
2. Don't lie to yourself. No matter how much you want to believe it. If you can’t agree with the reasoning behind it, be open enough to change it or accept it. If you won’t listen, then you are pretending and that can lead to problems in the future.
3. Don't depend on anyone else. You can accept as many favors that are offered to you and ask for as many favors as you like, but your own welfare is your own responsibility. No one owes you anything. If someone denies you a favor, they are not bad for doing so... it’s up to you to figure out another means to solve your problem.
4. Make your own happiness a priority. Put other people’s happiness under that and over everything else. You'll find that you can be happy without hurting others.
5. Don't be ashamed of your actions or beliefs. If you’ve done it, then there was a reason to at the time. If you believe something, there is a reason for that belief. Tthere are consequences to your actions or beliefs, so accept them (note, made up consequences may not apply if you do not agree with them).
6. Other peoples beliefs are as valid as yours. You do not have to believe them and they do not have to believe yours.
7. Keep your integrity. Don’t change anything because of convenience.
8. Know why you feel strongly about something (a belief, emotion, or whatever). If it is because someone told you that it’s right, ask yourself what makes it right? Explore the reasons behind it. If you still agree, then your convictions are that much stronger. If you don’t, there is no reason holding on to a strong feeling if you don’t agree with it.
9. You are not *supposed* to do anything. You do not *have* to do anything. We typically do what works.
10. Don't try to control anybody but yourself. You cannot.
11. Why not be happy all the time? If you are not happy, find out why and fix it.
posted by Thurston at
2:14 PM
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2 comments
